eliot "nicknameless" b.'s Profile

Following the demise of the original downtown San Francisco Naan N Curry, I shifted my allegiances towards the one on Telegraph Ave., which has never been particularly good but also not quite so bad that it would qualify as inedible. Some dishes are downright awful, all the time, including the bhaingan bharta (as my wife has nicknamed it, a pile of baby poo), though others were consistently not disgusting (the aloo palak and chana masala). The naan tends to be good, though often they seem to burn the naan, as the non-ventilated tandoor lets off thick smoke that leaves a semi-permanent smell in all restaurant-goers clothing for weeks.

Anyways, Naan n Curry was a sort of quintessential 2 1/2 star place. Indian-style blue plate specials, not particularly good, but there's free chai and the naan is good.

But tonight, my dining experience was horrible. My customary aloo palak had a really off flavor, and then in one bite, I uncovered chicken bones. I spit this out, to find that the bone was covered in truly revolting chicken. I mean, this is leftover chicken from someone else's dish, not a carefully selected piece of chicken meat added as a "bonus." To top that off, the chai had a bongwater sort of odor and taste to it. Also inedible.

So I call a waiter over to the table and ask to speak with the manager. I'm told "there is no manager." No manager? Even McDonalds has a manager to field complaints and assure customer satisfaction. I point at the revolting withered piece of leftover chicken and say - "this is a PROBLEM. You need to talk with the chef," and went on to explain that some vegetarians don't particularly enjoy biting into leftover chicken bits. He showed no interest in the problem nor in talking with the chef.

There you have it. A restaurant that truly doesn't care, about customers or food quality. No management, nor standards. At the original naan n curry they actually cared about customers, but that's all lost today.

Sorry Naan N Curry, I've spent thousands of dollars at your decrepit chain since 2000, but will never step inside your wretched doors ever again.

Actually, poor bridge, it shouldn't get only one star. It's a harmless victim of the bureaucracy of the Department Of Cones, who insist in blocking off nearly every lane of the bridge for such urgent tasks as replacing one burnt-out light bulb or spray-painting odd insignia on the upper structural beams of the lower bridge that look strangely like ancient cave paintings.

But, alas, the bridge wasn't designed to be used for a long time. The original designers seemed to be oblivious to the possibility that 40 years later there would continue to be a population in the bay area who might occasionally find the desire to use the bridge, either to flee the allegedly off-the-charts crime levels in San Francisco, or alternately the allegedly off-the-charts crime levels in Oakland. The pavement is always greener...

So now, I review this poor invalid bridge. At least it's been able to collect disability insurance and stands to benefit from future surgery to its eastern half. It would be a nice gesture to send a get well card when the surgery gets underway:

Mr. Bay Bridge
Bay Bridge
San Francisco, CA  94101

Mrs. Bay Bridge
Bay Bridge
Emeryville, CA  94608

(they had a divorce a couple years back)

Thank goodness for Yelp!

Following Saturday's traumatizing experience at Diedrich's (which used to make my favorite Guatemalan and Sumatran beans but now has sunk lower than Taster's Choice in the quality dept) I jumped on Yelp to assess my odds of obtaining some kind of non-harrowing coffee experience in the OC.

Not only does the Lost Bean get the difference between espresso-based beverages, they make them all real well, slowly, with attention to detail. The snacky items are good - we had scones and banana bread that was fresh and got along fine with the latte and macchiato.

Seating is comfortable, and there are a wide variety of seating options from living room classics to bar stools to square tables with firm chairs for laptoppery (it's been proven that the laptop operational experience is optimized when the skin area covering your tail bone and pelvis is firmly compacted by an incredibly hard sitting surface rather than gently supported by something with a modicum of comfort. At least, I'm sure some coalition of cafe owners could prove that in a disreputable fringe occupational safety journal with a minimum of supplied bribes).

Anyway, forget other places - The Lost Bean donates a healthy chunk of their profits to local charities, uses recycled products (with the exception of their coffee beans, fortunately), and makes good brews.

I was a big fan of Diedrich Coffee, and used to mail order their beans for years. We haven't been in town for a few years, and I thought it'd be a nice treat to experience what I remembered to be the best coffee in the OC.

Wrong.

First of all, the employees at this Diedrich Coffee had literally never heard of a macchiato. Never mind that it was on their menu, ie a regularly-offered drink. Then came the saga of trying to procure a macchiato. The first attempt resulted in a latte. A pure, unadulterated, automatic-machine-fabricated latte. And a distinctly lousy one at that.

Ok, we thought, perhaps there was some misunderstanding, so we proceeded to reiterate the properties of a macchiato: espresso and foam, nothing else. Quite some time passed while other customers were helped with their various beverages and food requests.

Then the 2nd non-macchiato fabrication process began. This time, the espresso was followed by nearly a cup full of vanilla extract, no foam. We asked if that was the macchiato - he said yes, didn't you want vanilla? We had already been at the coffee establishment 20 minutes, so we said, all-right, give us the cup-o-vanilla with a bit of espresso in it.

How should I put this... let's just say, a cup of vanilla extract with a shot of espresso will probably never be gracing the menus of any fine coffee-providing establishment. It's revolting.

Any-hoo,
Diedrichs-in-the-BMW-dealership: the worst coffee west of Florence?

I started going to this place shortly after it opened, but then moved out of town and haven't been back until last week and this week. It was always a toss-up for me between Jumpin Java, just a block up the street, and Nomad. Jumpin Java had the most uncomfortable wood benches I had ever sat in, and variable coffee quality (sometimes great, sometimes not), though I loved the owner; Nomad was more consistent, and had those loft-style accessories and wire chairs that were marginally more comfortable.

Anyway,

Though I've probably bought well over $1000 worth of comestibles at Nomad over the years, I probably won't be going back again, at least not until I find out that some of my "complaints" are resolved. Allow me to itemize the reasons I'll take my business elsewhere:

1) PRICES. $3.95 for a regular latte is just about the most expensive latte in the Bay Area. They used conscientious, free range ingredients (good), but the latte was not exceptional. Certainly not worth $3.95. And, order a bagel with stuff: the bagel is $2.00, each extra is $0.75. The cream cheese was borderline disgusting -- too thin to handle the warmth of a bagel. However, $0.75 for a single, lone, wretched, flavorless, decrepit tomato slice (one slice, no more than 2mm in thickness) seems a bit exorbitant. $3.50 for a poor bagel with cream cheese and an infinitesimal fraction of a tomato from beyond the crypt was, like the latte, well, bordering on "rip-off."

2) Loud angry ANNOUNCEMENTS. Despite the fact that all of us in there had paid considerably inflated prices for our meager rations, not once but FOUR times over the course of two and one half hours employees (differing ones) would announce in a voice beyond yelling, firmly in the camp of screaming: "ATTENTION NOMAD CUSTOMERS! IF YOU HAVEN'T BOUGHT ANY FOOD OR DRINKS IN THE LAST HOUR PLEASE BUY SOME NOW, OR LEAVE NOMAD CAFE" and variations on this theme. I'm sorry dear Nomad employees, y'all so self-righteous and all, but we just paid the highest prices in THE ENTIRE UPPER HALF OF CALIFORNIA for food and drink that is not worthy of the price, and we're trying to enjoy a cafe ambience - in the absence of kick-ass comestibles, that's all you got to offer.

Nothing "breaks the mood" of a cafe experience like an angry, self-righteous public (dis)service announcement that firmly convinces us, YOUR customers, that YOU WISHED WE WEREN'T THERE. Ultimately, Nomad Cafe's priorities are NOT on their customers, but on turning tables and eeking the maximum PROFIT per square feet. That's ok from the perspective of economics theory, but sorry, I do not pay my money for poor customer service and all that ANTAGONISTIC ATTITUDE. Running a cafe involves a mix of pragmatic economics with good customer service.

Please excuse my UPPER CASE writing which connotes a SCREAMING delivery, I've just been SCREAMED at by NOMAD a few too many times today.

The best restaurant in San Francisco, regardless of price or cuisine. Period.

Very modest thai restaurant at the corner of Gilman and San Pablo. Though The Palms (University@MLK) gives Sabuy Sabuy II a run for their money, IMHO Sabuy Sabuy II is the best Thai restaurant in the North Berkeley/Albany area. It's open every day (a major plus, for whatever reason I get thai cravings on Monday nights and most places are closed).

Their menu items are well-done. The Pad Thai and Green Papaya Salad, while not radical departures from a well-worn theme, are quite good, with notably fresh ingredients. If you haven't figured it out already, the 1st test for Pad Thai is the sprouts: if they're soggy at the tips, you've been suckered into old produce. The papaya in a green papaya salad needs to be crisp, but not as firm as a carrot. SSII (an unfortunate acronym) passes both tests with flying colors...

However, if you're a fan of truly spicy food and become a regular at SSII (it's worth it),  a lot more food items may become suggested. I ordered a  fried Striped Bass that was very uniquely spiced (I'm not going to give away too much), and a radical departure from any thai food I've eaten (though apparently much more like how the owner of this place ate regularly when in Thailand).

They're aware of food allergies and restrictions, more so than most Thai restaurants I've been to.

My main complaint with the place is the temperature - it's winter now, we go there once a week, and it's pretty cold inside the restaurant. That means, you have to order the food insanely spicy, then you won't notice the difference. Anyway, check out Sabuy Sabuy II, the owner is very nice, they serve fresh Thai food, and there are some interesting secrets to be discovered if you are patient and food-interested...

+++update January 18, 2008: had the Ginger salad with shrimp today as an appetizer, it's one of their best dishes, that is, if you really like ginger!

Folks, if you think because it's vegan it has to be tough and flavorless, you are wrong. If you think Herbivore is actually a culinary masterwork of veganness, you are also, I'm afraid, wrong.

If we were in Ricardo, TX, and Herbivore were the lone island of veganism, a bold and daring vision of a chef who had never experienced veganism but arrived at it from a growing dissatisfaction with stuffing his/her face with Texan longhorn beef and "Texas toast," that would be one thing.

But we're in San Francisco and the Bay Area, home to venerable establishments such as Greens, Chez Panisse, and (formerly) Roxanne. Hardly a restaurant hasn't devoted some energy to their vegetarian menu options, and vegan offerings are quite common at pricey and affordable places alike. It's assumed that people have had, or at least have had the opportunity, to try tasteful and well-conceived vegetarian and vegan food.

That has not dissuaded the kitchen at Herbivore, where I once (no, twice!) had the misfortune of eating a portabello mushroom that would have served better as a patch for a steel-belted radial tire. Now, I'm no Roxanne Klein, but I have figured out, during the course of some years of vegetarian cooking, how to cook a portabello mushroom so it turns out less tough than it began. If I so happened to forget, any old reference cookbook such as the Joy of Cooking could provide such instructions. For whatever reason, Herbivore has opted for the distinction of "BF Goodrich of the Portashrooms," as not only once but twice I have had the misfortune of testing the air pressure storage capacity of the mushrooms in question (the second time since a friend of mine persuaded me I had to go back - it must have been an off day).

I really hate to trash a restaurant that, at least ideologically, appears to have good intentions. However, I've had friends turn vegetarian and get sucked into Herbivore, only to emerge a feisty and defiant carnivore. I just don't have a lot of empathy for poor food, no matter what ideological tag is placed on it. The place just hasn't made an effort to address these serious problems, after, what, 7 or more years.

This is truly an amazing place. Not only do they specialize in the exquisite spotted drum fish (a relative of the redfish used in Louisiana's blackened redfish) which is caught in the bay by the restaurant, but great shrimp as well, prepared a variety of ways. I'm a big seafood eater, but rarely have I had a seafood meal as memorable as this one.

The place has true southern hospitality, and the employees as well as other guests were very gracious and friendly. This meal was the high point of our week family vacation in south Texas, it is seriously worth the drive if you are anywhere between Corpus Christi and Brownsville.

Pleasant cafe next to the museum of art. The lunch menu is simple, but they put care into each dish, and make everything there on the premises (including cookies and other dessert items). Prices are reasonable for the food quality, as their salads have very fresh and flavorful greens, and my dad really enjoyed his burger. The oatmeal cookies were good, too.

We arrived accidentally at the peak of rush hour and there was a line and a bit of a wait to get food, and the owner came to our table and apologized (which was very considerate but not necessary) - she really cares about her customers, and we appreciate her concerns and hope the place continues to do good business.

They had a sign posted requesting that businesses not conduct business meetings during the peak lunch period - considering how comfortable the patio is, I'm not surprised this became an issue! If you're a business and want to have a meeting there, arrive after 1:15 and you're ok.

Minor critiques: small selection of beverages (though if you like lemonade you might find that a moot point, it was excellent), and no coffee. 2nd: I ordered the salmon caesar salad, which had corn bits and black beans sprinkled on top as well. I know I know, we're "in the southwest," which means that every waking moment has to be permeated by "southwest" cultural aspects, but those corn bits and beans didn't add to the salad experience (corn and black beans are unnecessary on and detrimental to pizza, too). But those are very minor, I'd still recommend this place for a simple but well-prepared lunch. It's only open 11-3, so plan accordingly...